Hi Tomodachi’s!

Good day to all of you! Hope all is well. Just when I was wondering what I was going to write this time around, an idea came to mind. It has been a topic that has been simmering in my mind for a very long time before I actually decided to write about it. It is about the way people interact or have different expectations with regards to boy and girl.

I recently came across a post on my Facebook notifications that basically surmised that life was different when babysitting boys to which I assume compared to girls. They also mentioned that when babysitting boys not to report anyone missing but instead look up in trees and the roof before doing so. Basically, I assume this person was claiming that boys were wild, adventurous little rebels. Howevee, I personally disagree with that opinion. I believe ANY child can behave in this manner if brought up in the right environment to do so.

Not all boy and girl children are the same but the thing that irks me is the complete disregard of the thought that girl children cannot be just as rumbunctuous, wild and adventurous just the same as boys can. For some reason society expects girls to always be sugar and spice and everything nice and the boys to be the rowdy rebels of the bunch. And if the boy is anything but what is expected theb he is either classified a “sissy” or “punk” among other terms and if the girl is not sweet and calm she is classified a tomboy or acting “too masculine” or “not lady-like”. Believe me I have heard my share of things. I lost count how many times I was told I was not allowed to do this and that because that is not lady-like or that is not what girls are supposed to do. Even though many times than not I did it anyways. Yes, I know, I used to be stubborn as hell. 😄

Maybe I was a strange kid but I was not quite what people would call your “typical girl”. Of course, I thought myself to be normal as a kid and still do to this day think that it is normal. But I guess, I was not according to society’s standards. I knew that the way I acted would drive my parents up the wall because I did not behave nor act in the way they expected me, a girl, to act. I am sure, I also looked quite odd to many others as well because I did not fit in their little box of what a girl was expected to act or look like. Half the time I did not care.

As a kid I was wild, I was free, I was adventurous! I climbed up trees; I went into bushes to play but I would also pkay with dolls; I climbed on top of my house’s roof many times; I would catched baby guanas in my back yard and run behind wild goats; I helped my father with construction and lifted very heavy rocks but also helped my mothee cook in the kitchen. I used to get myself so dirty at times that I stunk to high heavens but I sometimes liked to dress up as well; I did not wash my hair as often as I probably should have which annoyed and drove my mother crazy; And I dressed in very baggy clothes; I did not care about shopping or the way I looked but I still liked combing my hair nicely; I played in mud and dirt and did so many more things as a kid not based on my gender.

Is that not the way children are supposed to act, play and explore their environment around them? Being a curious, adventurious and rowdy child, I believe, has nothing to do with one’s gender. Any child can be this way if they are given the freedom to do so and not repremanded because they are a girl or boy and they should or should not act in “this or that way”. I know because I was brought up in the very same way and observed how others around me were being raised in the same manner. I was a very observant child but like I said before I was very stubborn. I disliked and did not accept that I was not allowed to do certain things simply because I was a girl and “girls were not supposed to do that”.

I know, we all want to believe that we are giving our children the freedom they need to grow but are we really? When most parents find out they are having a girl or boy how many parents go out to buy blue things for their boys and pink for their girls even though they are just colours? Who ever decided pink was only for girls and blue was only for boys? I never knew colours had an pre-assigned gender to them? Last I checked this colour scheme for boys and girls was a ploy designed by marketers to get parents to spend more money. Not to mention, back in the day it used to be reversed where pink was actually supposed to be for boys and blue for girls. However, when I bring this matter up no one believes it to be true.

Furthermore, how many parents buy their boys trucks and tool set and baby dolls and kitchen sets for their girls? This is just a brief look into what I am talking about. For all you know, your girl child might prefer playing with a toy truck and tool set instead playing with a doll and kitchen set. Or your boy might just prefer playing with the doll and kitchen set instead of a truch and tool set. But as stated before, it is highly looked down on for boys not to be rowdy and wild and so if they are seen preferring playing with dolls and a kitchen set which is most associated for girls they are immediately seen as them turning gay or into a “punk”. Toys do not make children gay! I repeat: TOYS DO NOT MAKE CHILDREN GAY! You may stop your child from playing with a toy you may think is “not for boys” or “not for girls” and they will still end up gay. Ask yourself, how many highly religious families still end up raising gay children? It is not the toy that makes someone gay, it is the person who they are.

Furthermore, I lost the number of times I have seen parents tell their girl children not “to climb that because it is dangerous”. However, when the boys do the same thing they are allowed to because it is EXPECTED for boys to climb trees and be rowdy because “boys will be boys”. How many times have you heard that saying or used that saying yourself? I can not count the number of times I have seen boys running wild and out of control and it is usually accepted but when girls do the same thing their parents call them aside to sit them down or tell them not to act “out of hand”.

I have seen these sort of things for too many years to count and it frustrates me because I am in any position to say anything and cannot say anything lest I be the odd man out. Even if I do not care about being the odd man out, first of all, they are not my kids and second of all will people really listen to what you say and try to understand. Or will they just brush over what you say or get highly offended by what you say and go about their business. So, why waste your time? The only thing I have control over is the way I raise my own future kids.

So what do you think about this topic? Do you agree or disagree? What is your opinion? Let me know in the comment section below. Next week I will try to write a little more on the topic because one post is not enough to write about such a complicated and intriguing topic.